I Asked for Faith, God Sent a Storm

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I may learn Your statutes.”

— Psalm 119:71

A little while ago, I found myself wrestling with a question I could not escape: What does it really mean to believe in God? I kept asking myself, Do I really believe in Him? Do I truly trust Him? Or do I just want to believe that I have faith? I did not want a faith that existed only in my head. I wanted the kind of faith that could still hold on to God when everything around me was falling apart. So I prayed. “God, please give me faith. Help me truly believe in You. Help me trust You, even when I do not understand.”

Then, the very next day, my dad collapsed.

He had suffered a stroke, and his condition was serious. When I heard the news, it felt as though the world had suddenly stopped. I was far away. I could not be there to hold his hand. I could not take away his pain. I could not do anything to change what was happening.

All I could do was pray. For the first time, I found myself telling people, “Please pray for my dad.” I did not care about my pride or embarrassment anymore. I just wanted my dad to live.

I cried, begged, and I poured everything I had into prayer.

“God, please save my dad, even if he becomes disabled, that’s okay. Even if he has to stay in bed for the rest of his life, that’s okay. He does not have to be the same. He does not have to do anything. Please, just let him live.” And then, through my tears, I prayed something even more painful: “If I cannot have that, God, please let me see his face one more time.” I had never imagined myself praying like that. My relationship with my parents had not always been easy. They were strict when I was growing up, and over time, I learned to protect my heart.

I became someone who did not easily show emotions or let people see when I was hurting. But when I heard that my dad was fighting for his life, all those walls disappeared. I realized that I loved my dad far more deeply than I had allowed myself to admit. At the same time, I became angry with God. Why my family? Why us? Why does this have to happen? I was already struggling with my own questions and pain, and now my dad had suffered a stroke. I was angry, confused, scared, and exhausted.

But even in my anger, I kept going back to God. That realization changed something in me. Every day, I worried and cried. But everyone in my family was hurting, and I felt that if I broke down too, everything might completely fall apart. So I tried to be strong. I pretended I was okay.

Then I remembered something Ate Joles kept telling me: “Sunny, Papa Jesus is with you. It’s okay. Don’t cry.” Those words stayed with me. Papa Jesus is with you. I repeated them in my heart while my dad lay in a hospital bed. Then I remembered the prayer I had made before all of this happened: “God, please give me faith.” And suddenly, I understood. God was already answering my prayer. I had asked Him for faith, and He was teaching me to trust Him in the middle of something I could not control.

My dad survived his stroke, and he is now recovering. Things are not completely the same. Our family has changed. But I'm thankful we are still together. I realize that God did not ignore my prayer. His answer simply did not look the way I expected. I thought God had abandoned me. But He was there the whole time. Even through all of this, God was teaching me how to have faith in Him.

Name: Sunny Hong/66th Batch

Hometown: South Korea

Mission Field: Kaytitinga, Alfonso, Cavite